‘ezikiel’ – 2013, coming down

On some occasions the procurement of rum and marijuana wouldn’t quite cut it. This wasn’t just the regular life-affirming desire to surrender to the life-negation of jouissance; something had been *accomplished*, some hurdle overcome, a daemon exorcized, etc. On this occasion it would be necessary to seek out the services of Ezekiel. Ezekiel, or ‘Mandy’ as he was listed as on my phone, was an MDMA dealer who operated near Wimpey. His shit was so krunch. A soapy white fat chunk of his crystals would be all yours for the low, low price of £30, usually weighing in at just under a gram. Considering the comparative purity of the product, this was a fantastic deal. As such, Ezekiel was the kind of dealer you didn’t share that much, because you feared him getting busted and losing his services. I don’t know if it was left out of Biggie’s 10 Crack Commandments due to rhyming difficulties or simple oversight, but there’s a very powerful technique missing from the list, ultra-secret Dealer-Fu, only intended for the highly initiated in that particular black-market sector: Make the fiend *treasure* you. Then you’re a step closer to invincibility.

Anyway, Ezekiel’s shit was pure and unchanging, unlike Ezekiel himself. I say this, because no one I know who’s picked up from him has given matching descriptions. I see a tall, heavyset Maori with precise tribal ink. Friends of mine have described stocky boys from Peckham with strong noses and Nepalese scoundrels. This got me to thinking: what if there *is* no Ezekiel. Consider it; a selection of the regional dealers get together. For too long they’ve been ripping each other off and getting into unnecessary brawls, the only people who benefit from this being 5-0. What if instead, they Got Organized? Shared customer bases, pooled together for access to that truly pure Amsterdam shit? But who to lead the group? No one. Plain and simple. A code was put in place, the code of Ezekiel. Written in Ezekiel were the districts and prices of the respective associates. If any of them got pinched, say the same; I work for Ezekiel.

Or perhaps Ezekiel is an avatar of Nyarlathotep. This is my other theory.


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